Spanky Spanky

I have taken my approaches and written some version of the story I am about to tell，but everything would just be a recap of the phone conversation that I had with Spanky about what happened to my vocal lessons. So instead of retelling a story, the following is an add-on to what I wanted to tell Spanky:

My dad is a workaholic, ever since I was a child, I remember he was always at the office, and barely spent time with me and my mom. On the occasions that he will, he would always talk about how he would always have time for me if i wanted to chat. Whenever he would teach me Chinese, he would always complain that if I weren't his daughter he wouldn't be spending this much time explaining and helping me understand Chinese 100 times the effort into teaching me compared to his students. However, it always felt not enough, it felt like my momma was much more patient that my dad and she spent much more time with me...

Growing up, I always had a concept of "not enough" and "why is daddy working after office hours? "He would always take up these weird projects, and there were so many, and they just kept coming, sometimes it would be designing a dozen of complex buildings, a school yard, writing 100000 word articles, book launches, guest speaking...In retrospect, I didn't appreciate the fact that it was my dad who puts food on the table (literally too), who could afford our annual vacations, live in the place I call home, pay for my years and years of my tuition fees..

Now, I have a boyfriend, who is working all the time, the childhood issues of "not getting enough" would resurface. There are so many projects that Spanky has taken up too. On one hand, I am proud of his achievement at this age, on the other hand, I'm annoyed that he is so devoted in work and feeling that I am fighting for scraps of his attention. So then I would complain to my friends, all the stuff that I can't stand about Spanky:

He would call once a week and text once in 2 days...

He only calls upon my requests....

He would never call on constitutive nights...

He promises he would call, but then forgets....

He promised he would visit once every 2 weeks, yet he only visits once per month....

When we are physically together its great, when he is back in China, it's two separate lives again...

It's always work work work, is he just making this up to avoid me?

So then I would get a lot of responses...And for the longest time ever, not a lot of people have heard the happy moments that I've shared with Spanky. For as much as they know, I've become more quiet about my relationship nowadays.

It was until yesterday, this girl in my singing class was in a conversation with our vocal coach about her previous relationship problems, and feels like it was her ex that treated her the best compared to other guys that she's dated afterwards. The reason why they broke up as because she wanted more out of the relationship, more of his time, more of a "loving feeling"... My vocal coach thought her case was pretty similar to mine and told me to hear it out.

[Because I woke up at 7 am, I would really like to head back to bed before my class at noon, so I'm going to cut this short and give a wrap up]

Spanky loves me. 

Spanky loves work. 

Spanky is willing to call me more upon my request.

Spanky tries his best to balance me and work out. 

Spanky is very dedicated to work.

When we are together, he is willing to reduce his workload, and do it later.

Spanky prefers the simple life. 

Spanky likes to help people. 

Spanky doesn't spend a lot on himself, but is willing to spend a lot on me.

Spanky gets excited upon seeing me. 

Spanky has a big heart and is tolerant on all the stuff I have done to annoy him. 

Spanky is not that bad bad. 

but he should drink more water :)

In addition: My vocal coach said that a relationship with too much loving feeling is not good, either the guy is creating a false sense of romance or that the honeymoon period will fade after 6 months, leaving an emptier feeling. When a relationship gives out less frission/stimulation in the beginning, then it may be more likely to last, because the drop wouldn't be as significant.
What are your views?