Someone that I used to know

On my way to the gym tonight, I passed by the usual vending machine where all the street dancers gathered to freestyle during the night time. Our campus had a joint university dance performance, although I missed it, it did motivate me to practiced a few of my rusted moves on some Tyga music...

Infact, it even reminded me of a hip hop dancer who I used to date 2 years ago. I know he lives in my neighborhood, and that he practices near those vending machines (it was actually where we met). I've even seen him, once...or twice on the footbridge...Once I even saw him holding hands with, I assume was his girlfriend (who looked exactly like the girl who he celebrated his birthday with on his instagram) (Not that I, have his instagram) I was already dating and in love with Spanky at that time, but somehow, that image of them holding hands still flashes itself in my brain...This is why I only look at empty spaces when I walk on my footbridge now. I choose to not see anything (that upsets me)

Anyways, I thought I would keep my eyes out for familiar faces (some of my old colleagues freestyle there too)...and Lord and behold, the guy who broke my heart 2 years ago was there.

Actually, I was too exhausted from my day to care about some guy who I once dated briefly a very long time ago. At most, if he sees me, I'll say a hi.

However, it was his reaction that...really made me want to blog in the first place...

 Although he took his glasses off when he was dancing to (his weird electronic + hammering + drilling + construction NOISE) music, he recolonized me and grooved towards where I was heading (I was heading straight and he was heading sideways) his eyes never off from me, squinting to get a closer look to see if who he saw was someone who he think he just saw. uh-oh, I'm too hungry to think, why didn't I eat more?? I mirrored him and squinted back. This all happened in a duration of seconds, but we did keep migrating to a point (or to each other as observers would call it) , eyes on each other until we were so close that we could whisper and still hear each other.

This was when I shifted my glance and sped up my walking. Admitting that I was calm would be a lie (although it was mainly because of the shock of seeing someone that I used to know), because 5 minutes later, I lost my gym card ==" Damnit, that's 50 bucks down the drain.

In retrospect, I used to think that dating guys in quantity would be cool and that I would have a good "resume" of guys, but I guess I never thought about the consequences of seeing them afterwards...
Somehow I thought it would always be a "haha, look at me now, I am blah blah blah successful", but instead I felt uncomfortable, will he talk to me after I leave the gym? What should I say when he asks about my singing dream? Should I tell him that I am dating now? But that will be boasting? WIll he still think that I haven't got over him?

As uncomfortable as I felt about a person who I once cared so much about; it also made me realized how uncomfortable it must be for Spanky,to pester him about information on the people whom he once loved so much, but the relationship just didn't make it due to various reasons.

I learned (today). I'm sorry Spanky, I'll try to be less insecure of myself, and ask you less about your ex,(es), because although past feelings could never be erased, the past is the past and  we'll get over it. It's the present that really matters :)