SpankyPanda without the Spanky

Spankypanda without the Spanky.

05:19 caught up in watching 6 episode of Korean drama. *sigh* my fault for walking in on my momma watchin her favorite program on rerun. After one episode of 来自星星的你 I got hooked.

The protagonist in the story is an actress. She is gorgeous on the outside and strong (and) a little bit whack on the inside. Something about her made me fall in love on first sight.
.
.
.
.
Blah.
.
.
.
blah
.
.
.
.
blah

[16 episodes in 2 days]

During these 2 days, I've also been able sent out job applications, take passport photos, tan, DIY household stuff, make worksheets for students, read, practice  ukulele  and increase my octave a little bit more... Eat steak... (yum)

However it's not the stuff that I've been able to do that is worth the blog, but it's my passion for life. I've regained my love for life. :D :D

I feel so carefreee..

Oh yes, where was i.. Growing up in a society where relationships seem to be the biggest and most importantly thing in mt environment, I've always felt like it defined who I was. When I was15, I started join various competitions, cooking, dance, singing.. I even landed an MC gig and host gig for morning assemblys and campus TV. As I grew older, grades seemed more important, so I worked hard on that. However, no matter how much I did, I was always single..

So I decided that I should grow out of my ugly ducking shell and do something practical to "be proven dateable", so I put on makeup, put on skimpy clothes, joined extra curricular activities, socialize more..
*sigh* it just always felt like I needed an opposite sex in my life to get myself out of misery...

.
.
.
So at the age of 23, I finally had a boyfriend. and how did it feel? Well.. It didn't feel bad, but it wasn't great. It felt comfortable. It felt like 2 very good friends being with each other.. But, i started changing.. I started seeing less of my girl friends, changed my habits, became socially awakad, didn't care about my appearance, started to feel hopeless of my future, singing ... , eventually the light in my eyes disappeared... I was embarrassed to take selfies, or to be in a photo.. And when I kept seeing myself with out graduation photos, I've had it, i had to do something about it...

Meanwhile, Spanky, well, after a year and a half, what does a guy do, well, he just becomes himself on a period . *cough cough * easily irritated, stingy, busy with work..

So I took a gamble and ended the relationship.

[epic water drop sound]

It wasn't an easy few months following the break up. I still loved Spanky despite lying to him that I didn't love him.

So I called him.

Everyday.

For a month.

Soon I watched as he grew out of the relationship and made more and more plans with his friends.

And me? No job, and all the friends I drove away?

One must not dwell on the past.

The month after was.. Well very lonely... The days were long and the nights were.. Well.. Quiet..

So staring at my empty Skype logs (actually, its not really empty, there's annoying tom, but that counts as empty, hehe) ,waiting for Spanky to come online, i switch my app to ChangBa.. (a karaoke app).. And my nights were very cheerful indeed..

Happy ending right?

Well sometimes. Cuz on other nights, there's just this churning inside of me.. I just really want to tell my day to Spanky, I really want to hear him voice..

And whenever i hit that call button, whether it gets through or not, it always leaves me at a situation worse than I was already in... Why? Because I can feel and hear a Spanky that is talking to me out of generosity, out of sympathy? Out of wanting to hook up when he is in town?... Oh well, its late at night and time has passed, so ill just get some sleep...

And then i forget my misery and repeat the pattern.. Another day.

06:10

Actually, I just witnessed a sun rise.. Damnit, I took an hour writing this shit?

Anyways, in order to get a good mornings sleep before my momma wakes up. I shall finish, or else i cannot sleep.

I invented this awesome matcha, drink, its so yummy, and has lots of caffeine but gives you terrible diarrhea. So that's why im still not hungry, i mean sleepy..

Actually, im really hungry, I want steak... With tomato and onion sauce... Arghhh..

I mean happy, but currently hungry. Im happy, I took a selfie and my eyes glittered, that's why I know I'm happy. Watching Korean drama makes me happy :D

For real its not just the Korean drama. I've also been reading this Buddhists book..

Oh, and another cockroach trap fail.. Arghh, im so annoyed.. I swear man these are mutated 113 ape virused cockroach... [angry face]

06:13

Black coffee

8:47 am

Beep beep beep.

SNOOZE

8:57 am

Beep beep beep.

Arghh. I hate Spanky. He should be the one here trying to meet 60% attendance criteria for our competition.

Oh and later, I have to go to the book fair with my dad. How will I have the time to summarize my worksheets for B, as well as practice song for my singing competition next week.

Although I loitered a lot yesterday. I did end up spending a lot of time making worksheets...

So these were the thoughts that buzzed around my head as I stumbled my way to the bathroom to groom.

9:17 am
What have I been doing for the last 20 minutes. I think there is still time for me sneak some noodles and eggs from my school canteen before 9:30....

9:24
I bump into a familiar friend, Larry, who I met in year 1 in Uni. He was waiting for his girlfriend, she was late as always, so accompanied me for breakfast. I placed my usual order. Ham and eggs with noodles, extra egg, black coffee.
"black coffee" he said with a smirk.
"uh, yea? "
" you still get black coffee? " he said with that same smirk he had years ago.

Tbc

Important meeting 2

3:45pm Footbridge. Oh crap, I forgot to bring my ipad, I've spent so much time transferring embarrassing Skype photos of Spanky to a private album earlier today, and I forgot to bring my list of questions, and I forgot to bring my pen...Well, EW0 dude is always late, plus he hasnt replied my email, maybe he's going ot get back at me at 5pm, so why don't I head back and pick up the stuff that I need. 

Just when I was about to head up the elavators, my phone rings. Alas, it is the EW0 dude. He calls and asks where I am, I lie and tell him I'm in the library. He says he's in the building across, and would like to meet me there.

I run.

I run as streamline as I can.

I try not to sweat.



Thanks to the typhoon, I was not as sweaty as I thought. However, just as I head up the elevator, EW0 dude calls again. I guess they were not as patient as I thought..

Remember, it's better to be a bit later, than to be messy and sweaty and nervous. I tell myself. You are a lady. Ahem, I am a lady. 

Ah, 11th floor of Li Ka Shing Building..interesting, isn't that where the Deans of the schools are situated? What a strange place to meet?



As I open the door I find myself shaking hands with 3 various heads in the campus management team. The CFO, the manager, and other head officer.

While, I was presenting my idea, (luckily in English), was the most detailed, un-HoneyMilkegg funnied, professional presentation that I ever given. I was so calm, despite running running 800 meters for the last 5 minutes.

I have never been so proud of my presentation.

Then the EW0 dude left for another meeting when he realized that things were going very smoothly. The 4 of us remained in my seats and fired a serious of questions, such as how heavy the bin is. with each question, I as able to provide a different diagram. Very well gone HoneyMilkEgg. The lady seemed to be the most aggressive of them all. She spoke very well English and she was able to generate her sets of ideas. She had 2 important questions though, and the general question amongst them all is HOW much can they actually save.

I need to leave for dinner now, basically we had a tour of "the entire operation of a cleaner from the collection point to the sub collection point, to the mobile trucks and the finally compression place. The lady has made her idea about what she thought about her project. I wished Spanky was here. He is much better at casual chatting and selling compared to me. I'm just a presenter... :(

My approach is quite passive, until I can come up with a solution to solve the customers problem, I won't try to hard sell anything. However, given that situation, maybe what I have done is correct? Could I have handled it differently if their final decision were unchanged? hmmm...

Important meeting 1

Two weeks ago, Spanky and I decided that he would be incharge of meeting the head EW0 dude. When we finally got a hold of him, he wanted to meet us... One day after Spanky leaves to NB. Okay great.

So the meeting turned to be a positive meeting. I was super nervous and got diarrhea many times before the meeting, as I have never met with head of any department for anything other than misbehaving back then in my youthful school days. (Actually I don't think I've ever left it)

Anyways, we set up to meet a campus management guy to take me around the campus to understand the trash logistics better.

3 weeks gone by and not a single reply. Within those 3 weeks Spanky has came to HK and has left. Oh well, maybe the EW0 dude was just being nice.

All of a sudden, yesterday I recently a weird "recalled email"  from the EW0 dude. I guess it should has set off warning bells, but nope, I didn't do no shit... So I did my business as usual, went out for vocal lessons, gym, and watched TV drama until 5am.

It didn't seem to matter to me if I needed to set an alarm in or not. My plans for the day was to ready Nietzsche, then go tutor some kid. Simple and stressful.

So I stumbled out of bed feeling terrible, I can feel the swell in my left eye. It was from some dirt that got in days ago, I've been ignoring it and its been growing bigger than ever since. (on top of that I like to tear up to sad Taiwanese drama scenes during my late night marathons) Ai...my bad

So I head to the bathroom and pee while checking my phone, like what any 21st century city living kid/teen/adult would do. Time 12:58. Preview bar: Spanky wechatted, a dozen whatsapp messages from vocal lessons groups, unread emails...

However one email caught my attention, EW0 dude.  Oh yes oh no, he EMAILED. So I opened my email immediately, in the email he said that he wanted to arrange a meeting at around 3:45pm, and hopes I'm around campus at the time.

Okay, so I know its a very last minute meeting, but I'm just meeting the trash collection manager, and hes going to take me on a tour, so all I have to do is to warm myself up with our project idea, practice my usual product description, but in Cantonese this time. Then we can collect the data, and modify, boom, done. Last time, I waited for over 20 mins. So ill expect the meeting to be around 4.

At home, I was a bit rehearsaling, my momma was outside and I just feel uncomfortable if she can hear the slightest bit if noise from me. As I rehearse, I remind myself that although I don't have alot of good vocabs. At least I need to eliminate the slang/uneducated works like "gum, D, la a" As well as the chant " I need to grow up,  I need to grow up,  I need to grow up,  I need to grow up,  I need to grow up...."

3:40pm off I go..

I wore a dress similar to this today. 

Pool at a 5 star hotel

I finally was to stay in Harbour Grand hotel again. My previous time was in 2010, when a friend of mine came over. I heard the pool was great  but wasn't able to head up there. This time I was prepared.

So at 11:30am, I hit the 20/21 button on the elevator. I get my towel, open the door to the pool deck and GLING!  the sun hits my face, i can't see, the sun penetrates my skin, like a rapist saying hello old friend. Ai, I hate being under the sun. What's worse than noon time sun is the fact that we are on the rooftop, hello, we are at least 21 stories higher than the usual sun exposure.

When I can finally open my eyes again. What I saw was a small lumpy cloud shaped pool at the size of around 25 x 40. Small pool. Not alot of my people were in the pool. a vast majority of the guests were on the sun-chairs..hmm...I don't even tan and I'm so much darker than them...plus, i thought this was a 5 star hotel, where is the Olympic sized pool, why doesn't a 5 star hotel provide the option of an indoor swimming pool? Should I just pack up and go to the gym? Oh nvm, it's probably going to be disappointing too, ill just head to California fitness later. 


 The laps were errr...short. I reached the other end in no time, and back. However, The view underwater was beautiful though. Okay, Spanky called and affected my flow of thoughts. The end.



My phone was out of battery, so I wasn't able to take pictures, so I took these from the internet. I read an article that discouraged the sharing of photos on the internet. In the article it said that What you have seen is one memory and induces a type of feeling, what you have captured creates another feeling, and what you share on the internet induces another. So the sensation that a person experiences is different or diluted and almost highlighted to those specific recalled images when put to display. Click Here for original article.


I got out after 3 minutes, the sun was too much for me.